Your Pride Your Fall

You took my money while I was sleepingIt was all gone with the sunI called but you ignored meleft me punching my pillowmy heart filled with ragecaged by injustice that could not find wordsI heard you laughing from the other side of townlying in his bedsuch a fool to hope that you would changeNow I stand here empty handedblack heartedviscous plans dancing in my headTied to bed postsspiders crawling over your breastsa web over your faceyour evil smile erasedsheets soaked in keroseneI tip the candle overwalk out the roomheadphones onBrahms cello concerto no. 1vibrato growl fighting the orchestraI love BrahmsI loved youGo fuck yourselfand your friends tooAll the people that inhabit your petty worldsee what they can do for you nowprobably happier than me to be rid of youAnd our kidsOne day they will understandthe gift I am giving themYou thought nothing to embarrass meto disgrace meto defile meand smileyou cuntto watch me grovel for your approvalfor your loverope around my neckmy head at your feetshit on your boot toekicking me in the teethwatching my gums bleedfolding me into your suitcaseshoving me back up into the top of your closetSmoke spreadsthrough each room in the houseI walk out the front doordown the tree lined drivewayto the street belowlook out over San Franciscomorning sun rising over the bayan orange band aid stretched across the watera deep cut reaching to the bottomstretching underneath the Oakland bridgeStops at AlcatrazSirens blare fills the airangry birdsracing up the steep hillI step back into the bushesLet them drive byI want to cry for joyat the clean blackboardthat is the future nowat the empty space in my heartthat I will find someone else to filland kill all of the sadnessthat has never left my side