Cannabis Astrology: What’s Your Star Strain?
If there’s one thing we can agree on, it’s that 2020 has brought irrevocable changes to all our lives. Amid the uncertainty, we seek hope and moments of peace. Perhaps there are answers that can be found in new discoveries, or in connecting with plant-based medicines and good vibes, or even in the stars. So in thinking of new revelations we ask: What’s your star strain?
ARIES – Sour Girl
Surprised, Aries? You’re used to charging full steam ahead, but 2020 is a year of learning balance and patience. This perfectly measured hybrid, 50 percent indica and 50 percent sativa, reflects the exact tightrope act you’ll need to walk. Uplifting, creativity-inducing, with a thrilling high that also leaves you nearly too relaxed to do much but smile. Give yourself a break, dear Ram. It’s time for self-care.
TAURUS – Vanilla Frosting
Ideal for the reliable Taurus, this “4” year is all about building foundations. Prepare to be very popular (even socially-distanced), just like the current “It Strain” of Vanilla Frosting. The descendant of Gelato is a sweet dessert strain that’s indica-dominant and heavy on THC. Soothing but straight to business in its potency, there’s no better match for the Bull. You know what you want; be bold.
GEMINI – Cherry Punch
Can you have the best of both worlds? With this hybrid strain, weighty yet productive, the changeable Gemini gets a happy hint of stability minus the risk of boredom. You set your own pace, so you’ll need all the elements that a Purple Punch descendant like this offers – fruity yet skunky, alleviating anxiety while inspiring activity: That’s what we call the cherry on top
CANCER – WhoOody
Like Jerry Colonna searching for the invisible man (points if you get that ancient reference), the Crab will need to be ever-hopeful throughout 2020. Stay open and mellow, because the changes are coming rapidly. The hidden gem WhoOody, an amazing indica with a gentle touch for full-body pain relief, can help you keep alert and adaptable.
LEO – Z-Cube
Indulge and enjoy, O Ruler of Beasts – your journey will be as vibrant as your own epic personality. Spice it up with this one-of-a-kind award-winning strain, a rare indica-leaning hybrid descended from Zkittlez that produces truly mind-blowing effects. Superstars deserve “power cannabis” (though watch your dosing carefully)… and if you’re not a star yet, the spotlight will soon beckon.
VIRGO – Eleven Roses
The Virgin might just be deflowered. Be careful of too many impulsive decisions, as you’ll want to take some huge out-of-character risks. Similarly, the delicate-sounding Eleven Roses has an earthiness and long-lasting psychoactive effects that belie its innocent name. You’ll be tempered (or tempted) by this indica-dominant hybrid. Perhaps its rhapsodic relief will help you look before you leap.
LIBRA – Blue Widow
Are you merrily on your way to nowhere in particular? 2020 is one for the Scales to decompress and have carefree quality time with friends and family (even if you’re apart, spending that time on Zoom). The best companion: Blue Widow, a Blueberry–White Widow hybrid that’s excellent for stimulating sweet dreams and utter calm. And those of you quarantining with your baes will definitely want this lady along to put the “chill” back into your Netflix nights. The Widow’s got game, y’all.
SCORPIO – Wonder Woman
Liberate your life by carrying your inner Lasso of Truth. The super-sativa-dominant strain (though she can produce an indica variant) is known for inducing productivity. That’s exactly what the Scorpion must be now; learn new skills, mentor others, and find the opportunity to take that trip you’ve planned forever… just be cautious when you travel. So pack a little Amazon magic in your invisible plane, good for treating pain, nausea, and other ailments hours on end. You’ll need it if you’re going to save the world!
SAGITTARIUS – Margaret Cho-G
Just like your fellow Archer, comedienne Margaret Cho, this OG hybrid that bears her name will send you to euphoric heights. Sagittarius, 2020 is all about letting go. Release the tension and frustration, let the blend of sweet and sour take you to its laughing place, and lean in to the new friend groups Fate is wending your way.
CAPRICORN – Ms. Universe
I know what you’re thinking: A sativa-dominant hybrid for the Sea-Goat? But yes. Your somewhat cranky default outlook is about to get a boost as perky as a pageant contestant. Though it may not seem like it yet, 2020 is your year, Capricorn, full of luck and love. Meditate on the simmering scents from the Ms. Universe strain; its notes of pineapple, caramel, and vanilla combine to ease away all pain. A little tranquility goes a long way.
AQUARIUS – Khaleesi Kush
The Water-Bearer is being reborn at the top of the new decade, so you can take inspiration from the Mother of Dragons in reinventing yourself. Like the mysterious, charismatic Daenerys Targaryen, this indica-dominant hybrid has a touch of sweetness but pure passion inside. So do you, Aquarius. Fly into creativity, achieve your dreams; people will take notice and up your fortunes will rise. (Just don’t date your relatives, okay?)
PISCES – Nina Limone
This Fish has wings. You’re elevated by all the social evolutions and movements taking place, including major personal life changes. New businesses? Babies? Activism? Bring ‘em all on! With this rare sativa-dominant hybrid, named for your iconic fellow Pisces Nina Simone, bright and spicy effects can easily treat fatigue. You’ll be “feeling good” and energized in a jiffy, ready for any adventure.
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A version of this article was published in Honey Pot’s UNDER THE FEMALE INFLUENCE issue. Read the entire issue here and on our apps for iTunes, Google Play, and Zinio.